Sigh...I feel so down today. How people can claimed they are so sincere, so not judgemental but yet that what they're doing? And I don't know how to stand for it..I just nodded and keep people doing the same thing to me over and over...(I bukan apa nani, I ingat you mcm adik I sbb tu I tegur, kalau I tak tegur tu maknanya you is nobody to me..) but it is not tegur it is accusing!!
I try to look for the best part or the positive side but I can't because I knew I am not wrong. The toughest part, I cannot or unable to fight or to speak up because People will say I try to justify...
This is test...Allah just want me to keep low, keep my big mouth shut up..I'll try my best...
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
When we thought we have the worst....
Assalamualaikum,
I've started doing HR Consultant job at one of my client's office. Dah lama tak workg 9-5, so a bit panas punggung jugak at first. Luckily, it's only 3 days per week and Kak Zakiah and I selalunya won't come sharp 9am in the morning...This time much easier, I don't have to take LRT like last time, I just need to drive to Salak South through KESAS then park dekat rumah Kak Zakiah and from there naik Neo Orange kak Zakiah to Jalan Ampang.
LAst Saturday, We all dok menghabiskan saki baki raya by pergi open house, first rumah auntie kat Kajang, then rumah Norbaya (class mate masa form 4 and form 5) kat TTDI Jaya, then from Baya's house, we all pergi rumah Azrina kay Kuang, Baya, since dah tak jumpoa dia for almost 2 decades banyak benda we have to catch...she hasn't change, she is lecturer kat Poli Shah Alam, since ramai orang so tak dapat cakap banyak..but dia sempat bagitahu she got 4 kids but only 3 yg hidup. The eldest, past way after just few days she came back to works. The baby passed away coz chocking milk kat child care. She told me and Jay how hard both of them suami isteri nak go through those moments....
Then, I came across Kamariah Ramli punya blog, she also my old fren, masa kat SMTA. I always remember her, so I try to search her name kat Google and jumpa her email addess kat Unitar. I read her blog, then I got to know that she has 1 son, authisme. And she told how her life and the challenges both of them suami isteri to face unyuk membesarkan anak. Then I realised, I thought all this kind of things won't happen to me, or to my frens because when we we're young, we're so happy, healthy, no worries..we just laugh..laugh..laugh..buli cikgu..few worries lah bila nak delat exam..but we survived all that..then, Allah berikan ujian yg macam tu. I realised, Allah nak uji umatnya tak kira who they are..."kun Fa Ya Kun..." then it's happen. The al-mighty allah has His own ways to test us..and we have to be ready and to accept it if we are good muslim. We shouldn't be doubtful, we shouldn't questioned His action and decision. The test maybe to increase the level of our iman or because of our old sins or because Allah wants us to realise something..or anything only Allah knows, but it is not our job to question.
When we on top, don't compared ourselves with someone higher than us, there are many more unlucky than us...Dulu, when bad things strike..I am lost, I blame everybody, blame my husband especially. But, takde gunanya...then I realise maybe because of my sins, then I start bertaubat, doa, zikir..and everything till one day Allah swt gave us something un imaginable. But I realise, the gift also might be some kind of test from Allah, we can't be takbur and riak, and boros, and bakhil etc, because Allah can take it back in split second. He wants us to syukur..syukur with what we have....because all these are from Allah..it is not our right to question it...
To Baya and Kamariah...may you all strong and may Allah gives all the best dunia akhirat to you.
I've started doing HR Consultant job at one of my client's office. Dah lama tak workg 9-5, so a bit panas punggung jugak at first. Luckily, it's only 3 days per week and Kak Zakiah and I selalunya won't come sharp 9am in the morning...This time much easier, I don't have to take LRT like last time, I just need to drive to Salak South through KESAS then park dekat rumah Kak Zakiah and from there naik Neo Orange kak Zakiah to Jalan Ampang.
LAst Saturday, We all dok menghabiskan saki baki raya by pergi open house, first rumah auntie kat Kajang, then rumah Norbaya (class mate masa form 4 and form 5) kat TTDI Jaya, then from Baya's house, we all pergi rumah Azrina kay Kuang, Baya, since dah tak jumpoa dia for almost 2 decades banyak benda we have to catch...she hasn't change, she is lecturer kat Poli Shah Alam, since ramai orang so tak dapat cakap banyak..but dia sempat bagitahu she got 4 kids but only 3 yg hidup. The eldest, past way after just few days she came back to works. The baby passed away coz chocking milk kat child care. She told me and Jay how hard both of them suami isteri nak go through those moments....
Then, I came across Kamariah Ramli punya blog, she also my old fren, masa kat SMTA. I always remember her, so I try to search her name kat Google and jumpa her email addess kat Unitar. I read her blog, then I got to know that she has 1 son, authisme. And she told how her life and the challenges both of them suami isteri to face unyuk membesarkan anak. Then I realised, I thought all this kind of things won't happen to me, or to my frens because when we we're young, we're so happy, healthy, no worries..we just laugh..laugh..laugh..buli cikgu..few worries lah bila nak delat exam..but we survived all that..then, Allah berikan ujian yg macam tu. I realised, Allah nak uji umatnya tak kira who they are..."kun Fa Ya Kun..." then it's happen. The al-mighty allah has His own ways to test us..and we have to be ready and to accept it if we are good muslim. We shouldn't be doubtful, we shouldn't questioned His action and decision. The test maybe to increase the level of our iman or because of our old sins or because Allah wants us to realise something..or anything only Allah knows, but it is not our job to question.
When we on top, don't compared ourselves with someone higher than us, there are many more unlucky than us...Dulu, when bad things strike..I am lost, I blame everybody, blame my husband especially. But, takde gunanya...then I realise maybe because of my sins, then I start bertaubat, doa, zikir..and everything till one day Allah swt gave us something un imaginable. But I realise, the gift also might be some kind of test from Allah, we can't be takbur and riak, and boros, and bakhil etc, because Allah can take it back in split second. He wants us to syukur..syukur with what we have....because all these are from Allah..it is not our right to question it...
To Baya and Kamariah...may you all strong and may Allah gives all the best dunia akhirat to you.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
When severe heartburn strike....erkkkkkk.....
Since pregnantkan Naqeesya, I always kena heartburn. Tp as long as I can remember when I was in my 20s, there was one period of time when I was attacked by stomach ulser (yes..sampai few years tak minum gassy drink..telan soya bean jer..) doctor tu dah warning,. that's going to be the "1st chapter" of may GERD syptoms.
And..to spice it up..the current medication for "the current one" that I have adding up to GERD Symptoms..dah lah additional medication tu is steroid base...hhuhuhuhuhuhhuuu.....
Last nite I can't sleep. Rasa macam banyak asid kat perut..causing my esophagus to taste masam-masam...eiweeii!! so I log in, and search more info..I guess now is the time for me to take serious action..ngeh..ngeh..ngeh..for those who wants to know more about heartburn, can visit this site.http://heartburn.about.com/cs/notdiagnosedyet/a/050503.htm
Obviously, there are certain things I can eat moderately and food I have to avoid...ANDDD.....I need to lose weight (Huaaa.....!!!!). Put on weight is one of the reason people can get heartburn...ok..ok..breath in..breath out...breath in..in..in..iNNNNN...out!
I will take it seriously..so since next week dah start balik turun naik LRT pergi KL, I guess that is going to be good exercise for me, puasa maybe every odd date (Calender hijrah la..). And try to use Blood Type Diet..huhuhu...I am B+ so I will try Blood B Type Diet..(which means no chicken...!). I will try my best..nanti I will update here my progress...
Actually Allah tu nak suruh I sedar..dah..dah la..enjoy food..ni bukan dah tahap makan utk hidup, but hidup utk makan..kalau dah sampai Black Canyon Coffee punya staff kat Summit USJ tu dah boleh ingat last menu kitorang..hmmmmm......
Those who interested to try, Blood Type Diet..just click this link..
http://www.thewolfeclinic.com/bloodType/index.html
And..to spice it up..the current medication for "the current one" that I have adding up to GERD Symptoms..dah lah additional medication tu is steroid base...hhuhuhuhuhuhhuuu.....
Last nite I can't sleep. Rasa macam banyak asid kat perut..causing my esophagus to taste masam-masam...eiweeii!! so I log in, and search more info..I guess now is the time for me to take serious action..ngeh..ngeh..ngeh..for those who wants to know more about heartburn, can visit this site.http://heartburn.about.com/cs/notdiagnosedyet/a/050503.htm
Obviously, there are certain things I can eat moderately and food I have to avoid...ANDDD.....I need to lose weight (Huaaa.....!!!!). Put on weight is one of the reason people can get heartburn...ok..ok..breath in..breath out...breath in..in..in..iNNNNN...out!
I will take it seriously..so since next week dah start balik turun naik LRT pergi KL, I guess that is going to be good exercise for me, puasa maybe every odd date (Calender hijrah la..). And try to use Blood Type Diet..huhuhu...I am B+ so I will try Blood B Type Diet..(which means no chicken...!). I will try my best..nanti I will update here my progress...
Actually Allah tu nak suruh I sedar..dah..dah la..enjoy food..ni bukan dah tahap makan utk hidup, but hidup utk makan..kalau dah sampai Black Canyon Coffee punya staff kat Summit USJ tu dah boleh ingat last menu kitorang..hmmmmm......
Those who interested to try, Blood Type Diet..just click this link..
http://www.thewolfeclinic.com/bloodType/index.html
Saturday, October 18, 2008
What is wealth..
Ada org cakap health is wealth..
ada org cakap wealth is when you can do what ever you want
ada org cakap wealth is being super rich
ada org cakap wealth is equally sucessful between dunia and akhirat..
ada org cakap wealth is when you can sent you kids to what ever scholl they want, and go holidays without packing...
for me..wealth is being able to not to think about it..able to stay at home and watch how fast my kids grew up, able to count my husband's white hair or able to check how bold he is day by day, able to talk on the phone or YM my frenz as long as we can stand, able to say no to my fussy client, able to put my family on the first place before anything else, able to enjoy watching tv in my living room until late nite without thinking about how tomorrow gonna looks like...
and actually, that is major reason why I quite my job. Ada kawan2 yg tanya, mcm mana aku make decision to quite..entah..aku pun tak ingat..but I guess because the 'tak tahannes" feelings bekerja dgn org tu dah too strong till it really push me to make final decision. How I survived after berhenti kerja? Memang susah lepas tu..ada pulak incident2 yg tak disangka2...tp actually think back about that..itu kerja tuhan and actually itu adalah new gate to what ever I am now.
Alhamdulillah, I am happy...happy to do what ever I want to do and happy to do..if you've been working years and hari-hari you feel like macam nak hempuk somebody's head je...think back...are you happy with what you're doing right now and can you get it going till next week, next month, next year, next decade....
Believe me, when you fell happy, hidup tak de nak sumpah seranah boss, office mate, client, org yg hon keter kita on the way to kerja , etc.....will be more blessed and things will be better.
ada org cakap wealth is when you can do what ever you want
ada org cakap wealth is being super rich
ada org cakap wealth is equally sucessful between dunia and akhirat..
ada org cakap wealth is when you can sent you kids to what ever scholl they want, and go holidays without packing...
for me..wealth is being able to not to think about it..able to stay at home and watch how fast my kids grew up, able to count my husband's white hair or able to check how bold he is day by day, able to talk on the phone or YM my frenz as long as we can stand, able to say no to my fussy client, able to put my family on the first place before anything else, able to enjoy watching tv in my living room until late nite without thinking about how tomorrow gonna looks like...
and actually, that is major reason why I quite my job. Ada kawan2 yg tanya, mcm mana aku make decision to quite..entah..aku pun tak ingat..but I guess because the 'tak tahannes" feelings bekerja dgn org tu dah too strong till it really push me to make final decision. How I survived after berhenti kerja? Memang susah lepas tu..ada pulak incident2 yg tak disangka2...tp actually think back about that..itu kerja tuhan and actually itu adalah new gate to what ever I am now.
Alhamdulillah, I am happy...happy to do what ever I want to do and happy to do..if you've been working years and hari-hari you feel like macam nak hempuk somebody's head je...think back...are you happy with what you're doing right now and can you get it going till next week, next month, next year, next decade....
Believe me, when you fell happy, hidup tak de nak sumpah seranah boss, office mate, client, org yg hon keter kita on the way to kerja , etc.....will be more blessed and things will be better.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Lover's veil...Hijab Sang Pencinta..
Well done again to Ramli Awang Murshid..this time..I bought this book..selalunhya aku dapat free...saje2 nak fired up myself..yg tak bestnya..I already knew the ending before I read it..dah dia asyik citer jer jalan citer kat aku...sebelum buku tu publish lagi..ngeh..ngeh..ngeh..
Readers don't know how dia dapatkan ending to..aku jer yg tau..kekekkekek . he said..after discuss with the publisher and the team, abg pek told me he solat hajat..to cari idea. nak spice up kan laksamana sunan punya ending.see...manalah tak murah rezeki..siap solat hajat lagi..
Sunday nite last week, pergi beraya rumah dia...cam biasa abg pek dok citer yg how bless he was with the increasing number of sales, sambil selit2kan perli dia kat aku lah..suruh aku write a novel as well...hem..tulis list barang nak shopping aku terrorlah....takpe2...ni tgh buat lah ni..masuk chapter 4 dah..ok apa? dari tak start langsung....
sapa2 yg tak baca lagi..jangan malu2..pergilah beli..and sapa2 yg tak tahu..this is trilogy novel..so better baca ikut kronology 1) Bagaikan Puteri, 2) Cinta Sang Ratu 3) Hijab Sang Pencinta.. kalau tak dapat beli..kontek me..i'll try to get it but with extra charge lah..tau..
Happy reading..
when facebook make my world bordeless....
how do you fell when you wake up one morning and..tu dia..your inbox filled with hai n hello messages from old friends....ex-musuh ketat, ex-kakak angkat, ex-classmate, ex-schoolmate, ex-doommate, ni semua facebook nyer pasal...
But I felt syukor..at least bolehlah mintak maaf dgn kawan2 lama nih..mana lah tau zaman2 dolu tu..
then slowly, I rememberd all the cerita sedih n cerita happy masa zaman sekolah dulu..cerita kak mimi n aku n geng2 main hoki tahun 1990..panjat pagar hostel nak tengok konsert ekamatra punya pasal..balik2 kena tangkap dgn cikgu siti..akibatnya sebulan lebih tak bleh tgk tv..during that time hp, internet, sms, astro, tv9, tv7, tv 8 not yet exist...jadik bayangkanlah...terseksanya jiwa raga...
then jumpa pulak kawan2 masa form 6..macam2 citer..but nice to see you all...ada yg kecik ada yg besar..ada yg macam tu je dr dulu..ada yg dah beza dr dulu...
But I felt syukor..at least bolehlah mintak maaf dgn kawan2 lama nih..mana lah tau zaman2 dolu tu..
then slowly, I rememberd all the cerita sedih n cerita happy masa zaman sekolah dulu..cerita kak mimi n aku n geng2 main hoki tahun 1990..panjat pagar hostel nak tengok konsert ekamatra punya pasal..balik2 kena tangkap dgn cikgu siti..akibatnya sebulan lebih tak bleh tgk tv..during that time hp, internet, sms, astro, tv9, tv7, tv 8 not yet exist...jadik bayangkanlah...terseksanya jiwa raga...
then jumpa pulak kawan2 masa form 6..macam2 citer..but nice to see you all...ada yg kecik ada yg besar..ada yg macam tu je dr dulu..ada yg dah beza dr dulu...
aidilfitri..the ambush!!
Last friday..My family n I've been invited to attend intan's open house. Don't know lah..why intan buat open house on Friday evening..it ends up we all dok melepak until 1am..the best part, the kids langsung tak mengantuk....
On saturday, we wnt to selayang to visit my hubby's auntie..teruknya jam..it takes 2 hours from usj to selayang..mcm nak pergi melaka lah pulak..we drop by at mdors punya kedai cermin mata kat bandar selayang..bila sampai je..I can see that she has something in her mind...and right before I balik she said..esok jom pergi rumah nori..and we all pun plan lah..not to inform nori.
I suppose to jumpa maroha since she just came back from melbourne..lama tak jumpa dia..,but she has stuck in Shah Alam and I have to stop by at another friend's house at Taman Dagang..itu pun take 2 hours from selayang to taman dagang,,,gile..ngeh..ngeh..ngeh...
Then I informed maroha, that mdor n I plan to ambush nori's house, roha pulak cakap ajaklah dee sekali..we all pun ajak lah dee.it's hujan lebat..but ambush tetap ambush..after pusing2 cari jalan suakasih 3 bandar tun hussein onn..jumpalah, very nice house...baik jer..sampai kat pagar rumah nori I called her.."nori ko ada kat rumah ke, buat apa tu..bukak pintu jap..aku ada kat luar pagar rumah ko ni.." kekekekek Berjaya!!!..missi nak ambush nori..tu pun dia tak tau lagi roha pun ada n dee on the way to her house.
kat rumah nori..udang n rendang mak dia dah sedia dah..macam tau2 jer..tu yg best.
balik dr rumah nori, roha n i went to rumah mak datin dina kat semenyih selepas sesat-sesat...heh...nasib baik sampai..dina yg sarat nak beranak tu masih sempat melayan kitorang ni..
seronoknya raya tahun ni...alhamdullillah..hopefully still got chances till raya next year..
Aidilfitri this year..
Alhamdulillah...syukur..
Aidilfitri, recently bring true and new meaning of celebration to me, I mean in my 30s..normally aidilfitri just like normal family occassions... all this while I celebrate aidilfitri but this year it is much different. This year I went back to Kuantan, last year I celebrate in KK. My sister in law in KK said, their aidilfitri this year quite slow since they moved to new housing area and nobody came to raya like when they were in Kg Masjid, Telipok KK. But still..they were happy since celebrating it in new house, double story..congratulation to Ida, Fey and Ley (my sisters in law)..willing to share to buy this house since their house in kg Masjid telipok has been demolished due to government land issues.
Tuesday before aidilfitri, I cooked rendang daging and kuah kacang and my sister, amy cooked rendang ayam. This year, we cooked ourselves in the front yard of my parent's house..my mom's just gave instruction to us..quite fun.
1st raya after zohor we went back to Kg Ganchong, Pekan and 2nd raya going back to Kota Gelangi Jerantut. On 2nd raya, my aunti cu Asiah who came back from Saudi Arabia (She worked as nurse for +-1 year) brought back daging unta n my makcik robiah cooked masak lemak daging unta for us...quite special hahahah..then we've been served with rendang daging pelanduk campour daging kerbau...ahahahahhah...so on that day I have all kinds of meat in my stomach..
then we came back to KL on saturday. no traffic jam as usual..and my brothers n sister who lived in Penang (3 of them) spent one nite before continue their journey to penang...
this year, I went for solat aidilfitri and pray right beside my mother, for the 1st time, and the khutbah given by my primary school classmate ustaz ridzuan bin mohd yussof...
syukur I've been given chances to enjoy all these..
Monday, August 18, 2008
When perfect disaster strike!
Assalamualaikum,
Having own business is not easy. Trying too hard to satisfy client infinity needs doesn't mean they really happy. Maybe they will for split seconds, but then..it still depend in our capability to keep it.
On top of that, it involves many. You suppliers, assistant, and as freelancer your helpers come all over the world...though communication is not a boundary but still..we have different timing, diferent sunrise and sunset...
Then, when perfect disaster strike...what can you do? You can't blame others, you can't blame different sunrise n sunset, you can't blame your server provider...it's you to blame. Sorry En. Jeff...the launch of masum.com.my is disaster....
Having own business is not easy. Trying too hard to satisfy client infinity needs doesn't mean they really happy. Maybe they will for split seconds, but then..it still depend in our capability to keep it.
On top of that, it involves many. You suppliers, assistant, and as freelancer your helpers come all over the world...though communication is not a boundary but still..we have different timing, diferent sunrise and sunset...
Then, when perfect disaster strike...what can you do? You can't blame others, you can't blame different sunrise n sunset, you can't blame your server provider...it's you to blame. Sorry En. Jeff...the launch of masum.com.my is disaster....
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
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